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Wednesday, 16 November 2011

When it comes to parenting, you just can't win!

It is hard to be a parent. We are tired, and every day we have to make tons of important decisions that will impact the lives of our children forever. We also get tons of advice from family, friends, nurses, and also strangers. Often, Internet forums are the place to go. 

Imagine you are looking for help and support in those forums. You want to meet parents in a similar situation or ones that had experiences similar to yours and managed to solve their problems. However, sometimes you can meet another type of person. The type that criticizes, offends, and generally thinks that they are so much better than everybody else.

Whatever you do as a mother, you are always wrong. You had a natural birth? Wrong! You had a C-section? Wrong! You're nursing? Bad, bad, bad decision! You're formula-feeding?How could you? You're a mother and you work? You're egoistic and only think of your career. You've decided to stay at home with your children? You're stupid and only capable of mommy-talk. This happens in all aspects of being a mother: starting with pregnancy, birth, to raising children, and even nutrition. 

Seriously, people, I don't get it! Moms and dads are looking for help and all they get is the feeling that they're bad parents and that they never do enough for their children. Does it help them? Not really, because now they're feeling even more guilty than before. All their decisions are bad, their methods, parenting styles, ideas, they're bad, too! You can't win as a parent. Your decisions will be criticized, because suddenly strangers feel free to stick their noses into your life just because you have children.

Whatever you do, it will be wrong. but keep on doing it anyway, because the way I see it, you're probably doing a tremendous job!

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1 comment:

  1. Oh, tell me about it! And what about people criticizing parenting skills based on how your child behaves in public... If your child talks, bad, since listening to children TALKING is ANNOYING (this actually was said to me not so long ago). If they scream, this must be because parents don't know how to handle them and therefore this makes them bad parents. If they are quiet, the children must be suppressed. You can never win. Whatever "naughty" behavior children do in public (and remember, the behavior doesn't even need to be naughty, as long as some stranger doesn't approve it for a reason or another!) is always an indication to lousy parenting skills. Mostly this type of judgement is done by those who don't even have children themselves and they can't wrap their brains around the fact that a child doesn't come with a manual and you can't magically just always push the right buttons. And even if we could, should we even? I mean, if you really think of the benefit of the child, then it surely is not ideal that a parent rules over children for the well-being of complete strangers and their whims. Besides, people tend not to understand kids have bad days too, and sometimes are hard to handle even to the most dedicated parents. A little less judging and a little more understanding. :)


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