We just came back home from what ended up being one of the most stressful holidays ever- at least for me. It started with the fact that I wasn’t at home, not really. I wrote how I feel at home everywhere, but this is not entirely true. We spent two weeks in Germany, at my parents-in-law’s place. And while I know my way around in Germany, and lived there for several years, you already see how I described this place: not my home. My parents-in-law’s. And even though my husband and my children were there, too, when I heard: “Make yourself at home”, I didn’t feel at home. Instead, I felt pressure to feel well in a place where I can’t feel well.
My husband’s parents live in a beautiful little village in North Germany. It is surrounded by forests, trees, and it’s cute and cosy. However, to me, it feels imprisoning. Getting anywhere on my own is nearly impossible unless I want to take walks in the forest. And I am bored after a week of taking walks in the forest. I don’t drive, and am totally dependent on my parents-in-laws two cars. All this brings with it a huge amount of tension, and after only two days I was ready to go home.
On top of that, we took Klara to see an otolaryngologist. My husband was experiencing problems with his sinuses, and wanted to have them checked by a specialist. We took Klara with us, since we were worried about her heavy breathing during the day and snoring during the night. As it turns out, they both need surgery. Klara’s adenoid was too big, and the surgery was scheduled a week after the diagnosis. I was confused and angry, because just after I wrote my text on Dutch healthcare where I described my rather positive experiences with this system, it became obvious that Dutch doctors totally failed to diagnose this condition and react to it.
Klara’s surgery went well. She came back home on the same day, and was very miserable for a while. Hearing her cry out in pain is not something I want to experience again. But she was back to her usual happy self in a matter of hours, and it only took one dosage of pain relief (Paracetamol didn’t help, so for the first time, we gave her Ibuprofen) for her to calm down. The next day, nobody would have noticed that she had surgery. Such a relief!
My husband’s condition, however, is more complicated .He also needs surgery, but a longer one, as his condition is not very usual: first he has to get his nasal septum (it’s a wall in the nose) fixed (as it’s crooked and makes breathing difficult), and then there is something blocking his frontal sinus, which leads to headaches and infections. This has to be surgically removed, and it will be under general anaesthesia, and it will be a complicated operation, and my husband will have to stay in the hospital for 2-3 days.
We’re considering his surgery in October, and I am not very thrilled about going back where I can’t get the support I need. Because let’s face it, my parents-in-law, while they’re nice people, can’t support me, and I don’t expect it from them. However, the important thing is that my husband is in a place HE feels supported, and his childhood home might provide just that. I will survive.
It doesn’t help that October is usually the time we like to go on vacation. So, instead of taking a nice vacation away from chores and work, we’re going to have lots of stress, again. Not very excited.
OK, end of rant. “Real” blogging will resume soon!