I admit that I haven’t been feeling like a good blogger recently. But there is a reason for this and it has a lot to do with the number three.
You see, 2012 is the year of the threes (how much is 2+1, I’m asking you?). It is the year in which I hit a certain age that involves a three. The same year, my husband reached another age that involved two threes. And, the same year, we celebrated Klara’s third birthday.
Of course, this has nothing to do with why I haven’t been feeling like a good blogger lately, but I am getting there. You see, 2012 is the year that I found out that I am soon going to be a mom of three. And, the new baby will be born in March (yes, the third month) of 2013 (another 3!).
Not that I am superstitious, because being superstitious brings bad luck. But I can’t help but wonder that there are so many threes involved- a coincidence, but an uncanny one! So I will be a mom to three children, and I am in equal parts overjoyed and close to panic.
I am overjoyed because I already have two beautiful, bright, wonderful girls, and I can’t wait to meet the new little person. I know how much fun it is to have children, and how happy I am to have them.
I am close to panic because sometimes I think that I just can’t make it, and if I can’t make it with two, why would I make it with three?
Also, this particular baby seems to feed off my brain waves. I already wrote that I didn’t have pregnancy brain with the girls, and if I felt confused or chaotic in pregnancy, it was my normal state- I am always confused and chaotic.
But this is really different. I realized that something was off when I missed my dentist’s appointment. I started to mark all the dates in my agenda, only to realize later that I forgot about two more appointments. Seriously, I can’t remember my name. At the moment, everything seems a little overwhelming, and the only reason I can write this blog, it is because I get to rant about how absolutely forgetful, confused and chaotic I am right now. Please bear with me while I rant some more.
Before I knew that I was pregnant, and in the early stages, I had wonderful, intelligent ideas for blog posts all written up in my head, waiting to be poured into a blog post. I was excited to share my thoughts and experiences with you. These posts have now been eaten by the baby growing in my belly, but I hope I can still access them in the nearest future.
Otherwise, I feel fine. There are days where food produces an explosion of taste in my mouth. The banana I ate yesterday was the bananiest banana I have ever eaten. On other days, food can be divided into food that makes me sick, and food that doesn’t. The day where the world runs out of cornflakes and milk will also be the day that the sky will fall down on our heads. My mood is similar: I either feel energized and ready for anything or exhausted. Also, there is the ever-growing belly, and at 15 weeks I am already showing, and it scares me.
However, it could be worse and right now, everything is going well. I hope it will stay that way. And, in case you’re wondering where I got the idea for the title, look no further than Stephen Kings “The Dark Tower”. I couldn't have thought of a better title for this post.